The Ex-cuser

My girlfriend and I recently broke up of eight months. We study in the same department and whenever I’m around, she intentionally flirts with other guys. I still don’t know how to react whenever I’m in her presence. We’re still friends on Facebook and we follow each other on Twitter. I don’t want to get back together with her, I just miss her. What should I do?

 

Dear Ex-cuser:

I don’t know the reason behind your break-up but it’s clear that there are still some unresolved issues. The best thing would be for the two of you to talk about your relationship. Be open about your feelings for one another and the prospect of remaining friends. But if it’s difficult, I suggest you ‘unfriend’ and ‘unfollow’ her on Facebook and Twitter respectively. You have to cut your ties if you want to move on.

 

 

Coming Out

I am a lesbian. I’ve been attracted to women since high school and have been with multiple girls. My parents think I’m straight and I’m finding it hard to conceal my sexual identity from them. My mother has tried to hook me up with guys but I’m just not interested. I feel like it’s time to tell my parents but I don’t know how to go about things. Help!

 

Dear Coming Out:

Your mother definitely suspects something or else she would not be playing ‘matchmaker’. It is best to find a time when all of your immediate family members are in the same room in order for you to talk to them at once. Don’t be afraid to refrain from the truth, remember it will be harder for them to accept this new revelation than it was for you. Tell them how you feel and allow them to also share their feelings. From there, try to see a way forward. Coming out is always something that parents have trouble grasping and understanding. Do not be ashamed or let them belittle you. You are who you are and do not change!

 

 

The Newborn

I want to share my new-found faith with my friends but I don’t want it to seem like I am forcing it upon them as I don’t want to offend them. Help?

 

Dear Newborn:

The best way to share your faith is to live it. You know the expression ‘practice what you preach’? Well… try it! Living a life where you are not afraid to express your feelings and emotions should be your goal. Do not be discouraged or unmotivated to speak about your faith. You never know… maybe your friends will be fascinated or curious and might appreciate your attempt to share a deeper understanding.

 

 

The Cutter’s Friend

My best friend is cutting himself. I know that he’s been going through a rough patch with his parents’ divorce but he never seemed to be affected by it. One day I noticed the scars on his forearm. There are multiple scars and they look pretty deep. When I asked him, he denied harming himself and instead blamed it on his cat, which I found absurd. I want to help him but how do I even start when he won’t open up or acknowledge anything to me?

 

Dear Cutter’s Friend:

Sometimes when people have struggled to deal with difficult situations, they end up harming themselves. Many self-harmers do so because they want attention but some hurt themselves because they are trying to escape their difficult situation. You need to approach this with sensitivity. Create an environment where he’ll feel safe to talk and express his emotions. Advise him to speak to a professional psychologist or go for counselling and inform his parents - who probably have no idea that their relationship is affecting their son. A situation like this shouldn’t be taken lightly. You are probably the only friend he has at the moment so be patient and tolerant. He needs your support.

 

 

The Pursuer

There’s a girl I’ve been eyeing on campus. A few days ago, I asked her for her cellphone number. I called her later in the day, only to find that she had given me the wrong number. Should I give up? I mean, I don’t give up easily and maybe she’s just playing hard to get?

Pursuer

 

Dear Pursuer:

You have to understand that to her you were just another stranger asking for her number. Some girls use this ploy of giving male strangers false details for security purposes. To have some random individual come up to you isn’t always that pleasing for a woman, especially if you haven’t conversed with her before. What you need to figure out is what impression you must have made in order for her to lie to you? My advice is to start over. Go over to her and make a sincere apology, even though you think you did nothing wrong. Be yourself. If she isn’t willing to hear you out, then let it go. You can’t force her to like you and you can’t keep pursuing her in the hopes that one day she will change her mind about you. There’s also a small possibility that she just punched in the wrong digits on your cellphone.