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Payback Time

Should children compensate their parents?

By Mandy Blankenberg

Last year, Oscar Pistorius was sued by Reeva Steenkamp’s parents for compensation as she was financially supporting her parents at the time she was killed. They told reporters that they were struggling to buy food and pay off bills after her death: “Pistorius has placed us in this position.

We are struggling financially. Reeva was helping us.” This raises the question: should children compensate their parents once they have left the nest and become self-sufficient?

We live in an era where children are exposed to a world with endless possibilities. The modern-day adult may be exposed to a different status quo compared to that of their parents, yet some parents still expect their children to treat them the exact same way that they treated their parents! Is this remotely possible in the modern society in which we now live?

As we grow up, parents sacrifice a great deal in order to provide for their children, giving them unconditional love, teaching them valuable principles and letting them enjoy only the best in life. In return, it’s expected from children to respect and love their parents as they are 

the people who laboured for their sakes. It’s only seen as ‘acceptable’ that children should take care of their parents once they have reached a certain age as they cannot provide for themselves any longer and these responsibilities should not be mistaken as a ‘duty’ but rather as a sign of respect and gratitude in return for what their parents have sacrificed.

Not all children are fortunate enough to have shared in experiencing the joys of a happy family while growing up in a stable home with both folks present. Some children experience the hardships of having a single parent. These kids are exposed to extra struggles and are sometimes victims of their circumstances.

Not everybody has the same opinion and views about specific topic. As parents teach their children to plan ahead - even giving them advice on saving and investing some of their allowances for future use - is it logical to expect these parents to have made provisions for their retirement and not expect their 

children to support them? But in the unstable financial climate in which we live, planning for old age is a luxury for many parents as living from day-to-day becomes a culture when money is too tight to mention! Is it somewhat unfair and selfish of parents to expect their children to look after and care for them while knowing that the possibility does exist that they become a burden whereas they could’ve planned for their elderly years?

Some believe it shouldn’t be a necessity at all as the government provide pension grants in order for them to provide for themselves, but is money all that matters? What about their children expressing love and care?

There are so many elderly people living in ‘homes’ who hardly receive any visits from their children. A proportion of them are even abandoned and left alone in unfamiliar settlements without any financial resources… some even with disabilities. Their children should play an active role in their lives: pay visits, spend time and spoil them.

There’s a scripture that states: “Train up a child in the way he should go,and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

Are parents to blame if children neglect them once they are old because of a lack of principles and love that wasn’t present during childhood?

In some countries, such as China, a law was implemented where children should provide and take care of their folks and, should they disobey these rules, they will face legal charges and even jail. The Chinese government believes that children should partake in their parents’ lives physically and emotionally.

It shouldn’t be deemed an ‘obligation’. Maybe the abandoned folk should find ways to salvage their dysfunctional relationships with their children instead of running to court or intimidating them for money.

This is a heavy question, of which the answer is not as clear-cut as we would imagine.

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